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Hi! My name is Brak. Did I ever tell you about my one joy in life? I like to take and fill my pants up with pudding......................
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| Can You Find Sergio? |
I'm Brak and I like to throw fun parties and invite all my movie star friends! I also invite my good buddies, The Three Drunk Midgets! Yea Buddy! We have a good time, and sometimes they bring their friend, Sergio! Oh, those drunk little guys!
| Aye Matey! Where's me Buccaneers? |
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| Aye! They're on me BuccanHead! |
Yea Buddy! Pirates are cool!! A pirate walked into a bar and ordered a Rumdrink, and the bartender couldn't help noticing the peg he had for a leg, the hook he had for a hand, and the eyepatch over his eye. "Wow, what happened to your leg?" he asked, and the pirate answered, "Aye, it was torn off by a shark when my ship was wrecked at sea. I have this peg for me leg now."
"Oh, a shark attack? Did the same shark tear off your arm?" the bardtender pried; but the pirate was quick to answer, "No, when me and me mateys raided a village, I was captured and they cut off me hand. Now I use this hook."
"Well," mocked the bartender, "what happened to your eye?" "Oh, me eye," responded the pirate, "One day I was at the beach and I looked up right as a seagull was dumpin his load."
"Your eye was put out by bird shit?" marveled the bartender.
"No, it was the day after i got me hook."
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| Get the Betty Ford Clinic on the phone again |
Sometimes my parties get a little out of hand, I'll admit it. But it's only because Zorak spiked the grain alcohol with opium again! I'm sorry Mr. Bill! Just remember: Rehab only lasts 28 days!
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| What cat? |
Hi! I'm Alf. I'm one of Brak's good buddies. I also like to party with movie stars. I spend alot of time with The Three Drunk Midgets, too. We just hang out and get stoned most of the time, but last week I was over at their pad, smokin the Foot-High Bong ( which is a monster when you're only 3 and a half feet tall) Anyway, their buddy Sergio was smokin with us and he talks me into goin on a blind date with his cousin, Betty. We hooked up and I banged her under the bleachers at the Monster Truck Show. She told me she's into guys from other planets. I told her, "Yeah, Babe, whatever blows your skirt up."
| My friend Elmo met a funny Cowboy |
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| Mr W has beedy little eyes! |
My good buddy Elmo met a funny cowboy in Washington DC! His name is Mr. W and the fist thing he did was stuck his hand up Elmo's Ass! "OOOOH! That tickles!" giggled Elmo. But it reminded him of a fun time he had at our Good Buddy Pancho's Playhouse. So Elmo told Mr. W about this nice girl he met there.......
Do you like Brak? Know any stupid pirate jokes? E-mail the tHrEe dRunK mIdgEtS at: drunkplatypus@iamwasted.com The platypus is our manager and our favorite of all God's creatures. If you're our contest winner, we'll send your mom a six pack of Blatz.
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