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Three Drunk Midgets

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Brak and Friends

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Hi! My name is Brak.  Did I ever tell you about my one joy in life?  I like to take and fill my pants up with pudding......................

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Can You Find Sergio?

I'm Brak and I like to throw fun parties and invite all my movie star friends!  I also invite my good buddies, The Three Drunk Midgets!  Yea Buddy!  We have a good time, and sometimes they bring their friend, Sergio!  Oh, those drunk little guys!

Aye Matey! Where's me Buccaneers?
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Aye! They're on me BuccanHead!

Yea Buddy!  Pirates are cool!!  A pirate walked into a bar and ordered a Rumdrink, and the bartender couldn't help noticing the peg he had for a leg, the hook he had for a hand, and the eyepatch over his eye.  "Wow, what happened to your leg?" he asked, and the pirate answered, "Aye, it was torn off by a shark when my ship was wrecked at sea.  I have this peg for me leg now." 
"Oh, a shark attack? Did the same shark tear off your arm?" the bardtender pried; but the pirate was quick to answer, "No, when me and me mateys raided a village, I was captured and they cut off me hand. Now I use this hook."
"Well,"  mocked the bartender, "what happened to your eye?"  "Oh, me eye," responded the pirate, "One day I was at the beach and I looked up right as a seagull was dumpin his load."
"Your eye was put out by bird shit?" marveled the bartender. 
 "No, it was the day after i got me hook."

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Get the Betty Ford Clinic on the phone again

Sometimes my parties get a little out of hand, I'll admit it.  But it's only because Zorak spiked the grain alcohol with opium again!  I'm sorry Mr. Bill!  Just remember: Rehab only lasts 28 days!

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What cat?

Hi! I'm Alf.  I'm one of Brak's good buddies.  I also like to party with movie stars.  I spend alot of time with The Three Drunk Midgets, too. We just hang out and get stoned most of the time, but last week I was over at their pad, smokin the Foot-High Bong ( which is a monster when you're only 3 and a half feet tall) Anyway, their buddy Sergio was smokin with us and he talks me into goin on a blind date with his cousin, Betty.  We hooked up and I banged her under the bleachers at the Monster Truck Show.  She told me she's into guys from other planets.  I told her, "Yeah, Babe, whatever blows your skirt up."

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My friend Elmo met a funny Cowboy
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Mr W has beedy little eyes!

My good buddy Elmo met a funny cowboy in Washington DC!  His name is Mr. W and the fist thing he did was stuck his hand up Elmo's Ass!  "OOOOH! That tickles!" giggled Elmo.  But it reminded him of a fun time he had at our Good Buddy Pancho's Playhouse.  So Elmo told Mr. W about this nice girl he met there.......

Do you like Brak? Know any stupid pirate jokes? E-mail the tHrEe dRunK mIdgEtS at: drunkplatypus@iamwasted.com  The platypus is our manager and our favorite of all God's creatures.  If you're our contest winner, we'll send your mom a six pack of Blatz

Did anyone get the number to that proctologist who explored "Oprah's Anal Cavity" on last Wednesday's show?